Marta’s diary

Monday 1st March
The second semester has started today. It is the last class of the middle school, so I must study all the time. It is horrible! For example, today I‘ve got a maths test, an oral answer from history, a paper from geography and a set text from Polish. Yesterday I was learning to one a.m. and now I know absolutely nothing about this. How could I do this?! Anyway, I have two weeks to read “Romeo and Juliet” of William Shakespeare. One problem – it is a  fat book! The only positive thing is the plot is about beautiful love. I like books like this because I always dream about a handsome prince on a white horse. He will arrive and take me to a huge castle in a wood. I know, it is a little bit childish but very pleasant, like a different world. World without problems, tears and sadness. It’s so ideal, but it’s only a wish. Coming to our ” kind bad world”, I must take a few photos on our art class. It isn’t very bad and pitiless, because this kind of activities I like very much. I always take photos on my friend’s birthday and they are always hellish funny. I can’t forget about “Romeo and Juliet”… I can’t wait for this book! I have to read it, now!

This book is so stunning! I was crying like a little child, when I read it. In the end of the book, a pair in love killed themselves, because their life is going to be meaningless without each other. So beautiful, but extremely sad. Today I have been to one of the four high schools I want to attend. These schools are the best (for me) high schools in my environment. This year  I must choose one of them and in September learn in it. The first school I think about is William Shakespeare High School. I’m interested in it because of a giant building, a good access, a high level of education, nice teachers and warm atmosphere. Everything is cool but I have one doubt. I want to go to a humanist class but in this school humanist class is with German or with extended art. I hate German very much, but I like art so… What’s the problem?! Unfortunately, I can’t draw and I scare about this “ extended”. Maybe, when I draw all the time, I will finally learn this but now… I have a big misgiving. Likely, I have my “big four” of schools and I will visit the next one next week. Overlooking  school’s topic, I was invited to my friend’s birthday. It is going to be a big and great party, but I’m nervous. Some unknown people were asked, too. I’m  always scared, when I get know a new person. I don`t know why… It`s Adrienne’s birthday and I have a gift for her. I have looked for it for a  long time but I have it! I am very proud of myself. This special thing is a big clock which looks like a huge, black old record. It is an ideal gift for her because Adrienne is interested in music. She plays the guitar and the piano and (in my opinion) she is amazing. Oh, she is ringing  me right now!

I’m feeling spring in the air! The sun is shining on my back and plants are becoming green. “What a wonderful world?” as Lois Armstrong sang. I’m listening this song right now and it is so magical. It is an old song, but when I hear it, I remember my childhood, when I was playing happily in the sandbox. When was it? Ages ago! Once I have played with my dolls and now I have to face up a serious dilemma – a choice of school. Just a few days ago I was in the next high school of my „Big Four” – Ernest Hemingway High School. I liked it and it made me a good impression. This school has too high a level of learning for me. Although I am one of the best students, am I good enough to attend there? Yesterday I was in a high school, which made a huge impression on me, maybe even bigger than Shakespeare’s school. This is a high school named Stephen King. The school is in the center of the town, a huge building, a good level of education. The only drawback of this school is oppressive atmosphere. So far, Shakespeare school and King School are at the top of my list. Apart from the school, I was on the Adrienne’s birthday party. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. She has a lot of cool friends, also from our school. A few of them even from high school. Thus I’ve got know more of the high schools than during the “Open Days”. Although each of the guests had their own opinions about the school, I learned many ratings that will certainly help me. I’ve got confused. What to choose? What to do? I’m completely muddled! And a little sleep until noon. And the exam is coming… I have to survive!

Tuesday 12thApril
Easter has passed imperceptibly quickly. I remember, after the Christmas break we have changed the date of some tests, and now I have to learn for them. This month is the worst. Final preparations for the exam. Not to mention the choice of the school. In a month I will have to submit documents, and as a consequence, to choose the school! That’s besides the point, how can I learn when the weather outside the window is so pretty! The bike begs to ride on it, and the sun through the window calls out for a walk! But I have to be hard. Evenings are so warm and sitting by the fire is amazing. Well, how can I learn when there are bonfires, birthday parties and so on? Many other activities are more attractive than assimilating knowledge. The only thing that sustains me in the spirit of science is that the final test is in two weeks. Will I have to part with my schoolmates for ever? And the worst is that now time runs horrible fast …
Saturday                                                                                                                                            24thApril
Oh my God! This is the last weekend before the final exams. Soon I will free myself from the books to go out for a walk and enter the „important” day here. I’m terribly afraid! And what about if something goes wrong? Martha, are you confused? But it may somehow decided about my future! I‘m repeating everything and those things I don’t know yet. I’m writing on the paper. But I should know it all! Yes, I know, I panic but it is very important for me, and if I already know everything I need, but  I’m paralysed? It’s going to be dreadful! I’m so afraid, although my previous tests went well. I hope I’m well prepared and I’m strong enough! Everything will be fine! How  would I be happy! But such miracles happen only in fairy tales … This weekend there are no parties. Everyone repeats everything for the test once again. A clock is ticking and the big day is approaching inexorably!

Sunday 25thApril
Today I’ve got up very early and right away to books to read everything I didn’t repeat so far. It isn’t too much, but it’s always the issue that may appear on the exam. Polish, history and art – these subjects I’m going to write on Tuesday. This part isn’t so difficult for me. Only work with text, so information is contained in there. Before the second part until I tremble with fear. Chemistry, physics, mathematics, biology and geography. The last two subject are okay, but the rest… Chemistry is a black magic for me, on physics we need to know all the models, and in mathematics one mistake spoils the whole work. There is a third part of the tests – English. It doesn’t cause me such a fright. I’m so glad, I will write it a little less nervous and paralysed by stress. Today I want to repeat everything that I do not know yet, and tomorrow to rest, relax … I also collect a lucky things that I hope to fulfill the role during the tests. I have a lucky mascot, a lucky bracelet which I always wear on my wrist, a lucky pendant that I’ve got from my cousin and a wrist strap with some cords that my friend made specifically for me. Of course, I still hope that April 27th will be a lucky day for me! The only thing I was missing is a happy pen, but that somehow I can manage. Borrow from someone! I’ve heard that it brings a good luck! Let’s hope that everything will be fine. Sometimes I feel that I am just so scaremonger, but then I call my friend and ask: „I’m also so terribly afraid and you have the feeling that you forgot the everything?”. Together always briskly. Just think that in September each of us has to go in another direction, to another school… When I think about this, I want to cry! Well, that’s the end of these complaints! I’m going back to study! Hold on, my dear Diary!